Who am I?

So who am I? That’s something I’ve been asking myself for quiet some time. Since I don’t know who really I am, I might as well continue with what I think I am.

1. I’m a Mallu. Yes, that super-intelligent yet super-stupid species originally found in a land known to others as God’s Own Country. (We ourselves prefer to call it God’s Own Lavatory)
2. I don’t live in God’s Own Country (or Lavatory depending upon who you are). And no, I don’t live in the Gelf either.
3. I belong to the 1 % of Mallus living outside God’s Own Lavatory who can READ AND WRITE our great language Malayalam.
4. I’m a living example to prove that all Mallus are NOT part of the Marxist Party. I love Parippu vada though.
5. I’m also a living example to prove that all Mallus are NOT cocunut lovers. I simply cannot stand coconut in my food.
6. I guess all other Mallu stereotypes apply to me. You know, Kappa Meen Curry, Weird Mallu name and all that. All except the pink lungi part.
7. I don’t have a Mallu accent.
8. I zimbly love to make fun of people with a Mallu accent.
9. I study in the No.1 Arts and Science college in the country. (According to India Today; but you can assume the reality when you think of that Aaj Tak and HT are also part of the same group)
10. I’m a wannabe Copy Writer. Only ‘wannabe’, especially after the intelligent people at my college decided Copy Writing has no scope as a career.
11. I love South Park simply because its racist. (This is to prove that all Indians are racist too; not just Aussies)
12. I’am in love with a girl I haven’t seen or talked to in over 3 years. Yes, I believe in miracles coming true. Screw you if you don’t.
13. I hate Liverpool, Arsenal, Chelsea, Manchester City and Real Madrid. I think you can guess the club I root for.
14. I admire George W. Bush. I don’t give a shit about what you think of him. He’s the BEST. As for Obama, I think he’s a pussy.
15. I’m a supporter of the Congress Party. Hoping to gain primary membership in the grand old party soon. Screw BJP and the Left.
16. I like Coke more than Pepsi because red is hotter than blue.
17. I’m religious. Roman Catholic to be precise. Although I oppose the Church’s views about homosexuality and contraception among others.
18. I was not ‘offended’ by the Da Vinci Code or any of Mr. Brown’s works. He is a fucking genius.
19. This blog will be boring. But learn to adjust, it can’t be more boring than your average college lecturer.

Peace